If you’re living away from home for the first time, it’s normal to feel a range of emotions in the first few weeks – particularly if you’re living with a range of housemates who might all behave in different ways.
When it comes to disagreements, things can escalate quickly in accommodation where feelings can often feel amplified.
Check out our tips for how to resolve conflict constructively and create a healthy living environment:
1. Take a breather
- Avoid immediate confrontation: If emotions are running high, give everyone time to cool off before addressing the issue.
- Reflect: Think about the situation calmly and try to understand your own feelings and perspective.
2. Communicate openly
- Arrange a meeting: Set aside a neutral time and place where everyone involved can talk without interruptions.
- Be honest and respectful: Use “I” statements (e.g., “I felt hurt when…” rather than “You made me feel…”) to avoid sounding accusatory.
- Listen actively: Let each person share their side without interruptions.
3. Identify the core issues
- Clarify the problem: Is the conflict about shared responsibilities, respect, or something personal? Understanding the root cause is key to resolving it.
- Acknowledge differing perspectives: Recognise that others may view the situation differently from you.
4. Seek solutions together
- Propose compromises: Find ways to address the conflict that are fair and acceptable to everyone involved.
- Set ground rules: If the conflict arose from shared living issues (e.g. cleanliness, noise), agree on house rules to prevent future disagreements.
5. Involve a neutral mediator
- If direct discussions aren’t successful, involve a neutral third party to help mediate.
6. Establish Boundaries
- Respect personal space: If it’s difficult to fully reconcile, agree on how to coexist peacefully without constant interaction.
- Focus on co-living dynamics: Agree to maintain a courteous relationship, even if the personal friendship cannot be restored.
7. Prioritise Wellbeing
- Seek support: If the situation is affecting mental health, reach out to friends, family, or the University’s Students Services on 01244 511 550 or studentservices@chester.ac.uk
- Know when to move on: If the situation is irreparable, consider options like changing rooms or housing arrangements for the future.
8. Learn from the experience
- Use this as an opportunity to grow in communication and conflict resolution skills, which are valuable in all aspects of life.
- It’s essential to balance addressing the conflict with maintaining personal and academic priorities. Taking proactive steps can help turn a difficult situation into a constructive outcome.
Where can I get help if we’ve been unable to resolve it ourselves?
In University of Chester Accommodation
- Start with your RA, if they can’t help, they will signpost you to other services.
- The ResLife team can also offer support. Email them on reslife@chester.ac.uk
In Privately Managed Student Accommodation Blocks
- Speak to the management team at the site
In a Private Rented Student House
- Speak to your landlord or letting agent who should provide you with options on managing a serious housemate fall out. They should not automatically defer to the referring you to the University. Landlords are paid for a service which they should provide.
Student Assistance Programme (SAP)
- A free service for University of Chester students which is available 24/7
- You can discuss tenancy and housing concerns with SAP
- Find out more about SAP